Simply Complicated: Dress or No Dress that is the question.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dress or No Dress that is the question.

Today was Caitie's 5th grade graduation. Those of you who know Caitie know that she spells torture D.R.E.S.S. She truly hates wearing dresses. However she was prepared to wear one for the 5th grade graduation. Then we couldn't find one. This is a really tough age clothing wise and it isn't made easier by the fact that Caitie is almost as tall as I am.

Girls sizes just flat out don't fit. Juniors clothes are cut way to tight and are way to umm hoochie-ish for me. Women's clothes look like they are made for .... well a woman not an 11 year old girl. Plus she doesn't have the top to fill them in. It is just really tough to find something other than jeans, shorts, and t-shirts that fit right now.

So we had a lot of trouble finding something. I admit I was a but frustrated at this point. I had an idea in my head of how I wanted her to look and I just wasn't having any luck finding anything. Then I finally found a couple things that might work.

We had a couple of options one was a pair of black dress chiffon culottes and the other was a dress I had found. Once she saw that the culottes were an option she was thrilled! She had escaped the dreaded torture.

Then I did something I said I would NEVER do. I used emotional blackmail to get her to wear the dress. I did it like a master too. You would have had to of seen my grandmother in action to understand why I could so easily pull that out of my arsenal of tools. She was the best! She had a guilt trip down to an art. I loved her to death. She was wonderful in so many many ways but boy she new how to work guilt.

Just picture this ... Here I am about 12 or 13. I don't want to spend the weekend at my grandmothers. I want to go home and see my friends.

Now if you knew my grandmother picture her looking ...I don't know... maybe lost. "Mamaw isn't feeling very good today. I sure was hoping you would come stay with me and help me with the garden"

So I would skip my friends house and stay with her.

Well I did basically the same thing different words but it was pretty much the same. And just like I always did Caitie was going to wear the dress she hated to keep from upsetting me. As soon as I realized what I had done I stopped and changed directions.

I looked at her and I said "Just to be clear all the other girls will be wearing fancy dresses. I am not saying you have to be like them I am just saying I want to make sure you understand you will probably be the only one not wearing one. But if that doesn't matter to you that is fine. There is nothing that says you EVER have to be like everyone else. So here are you choices the dress or the pants. EITHER is fine with me."

She chose the pants and I must say she looked marvelous! She was the only girl not in a dress and she really didn't care. I LOVE that about her. I love that she is her own person.

I hope I can remember this experience. Manipulation is NEVER pretty. I am just glad I realized in time to keep from making her miserable all day just to get my own way.

So after all the Dress or No Dress drama her graduation was great. We took her friend Raeann with us and went to lunch at Salsa's. Came back here and hung out. I now officially have two in middle school. Wow that is scary!