How to figure out if it is okay to have "drink" when you are hanging out with your Christian friends.

Okay I know alcohol is a touchy subject. Especially if you consider yourself a Southern Baptist. Personally I think the church makes too big a deal out of it. But that said I also realize it is a serious topic for some people and I am not writing this post to debate about it. I will if you want me to though, trust me I have an opinion.

But if you are a Christian and you are either going to invite your Christian friends over for a cook out or you are going to go to their house for one OR more importantly if you are going out for Mexican food (cause you know margaritas just go with guacamole like gravy goes with mashed potatoes) and you need to find out if they are going to go all "oh no you didn't" on you if you order a beer here are some tips:

 

If you are going to their house you have a couple options:

1. Try to score an invite ahead of time and snoop around a bit. Is there beer in the fridge? Don't forget the one in the garage. Do they have a wine rack? Check in trash cans for empty bottles and don't forget the recycle bin. If you are lucky there will be some evidence there for you and then you can offer to bring a 6 pack without fear.

2. You can call ahead of time and say "Is it BYOB" then if they get all "Umm excuse me we are Christians so we don't drink" you can say "I know that. I meant beef bring your own beef". Now I know that is lying and lying is also a sin but since the church covenant probably says you won't buy or sell alcohol but doesn't mention lying lying is obviously a lesser sin so that is okay especially if you are doing it so you won't offend anyone.


Now if they are coming to your house you there are a few things you can do:

1. You can serve beer and then wait to see if they drink any. Then if they don't you can claim you only served it so the other people you know the "unsaved heathens" you invited wouldn't feel judged. I know, I know lying again. Lesser sin remember.

2. You could ask them to bring the drinks. Something cold. Tell them you will have a cooler full of ice ready to put it in. Then wait to see if they have more guts than you do and if they will ask if you prefer Bud or Bud Light.

3. Go ahead and buy the beer. Once they get to your house direct them to fridge and offer them a drink then wait to see how they react when they see it.  If they act offended or shocked claim you have the beer to cook the brats in. If they are like "Got any limes for the Corona" you are golden.

If you are going out to a restaurant I really only see two possible solutions both are stall tactics.

1. Before the waitress takes the drink orders claim stomach issues and make run for the bathroom. Then stay until she has had time to bring their drinks. If they ordered alcohol then you are clear to order a Mucho Margarita.

2. Or if you are worried the hostess will take the drink orders you can just show up late. Just be sure and tell them they don't have to wait for you to be seated or it will all be for naught.

Or you could do like my friend did this weekend. You could call them up and say "Will you be offended if we serve beer at our cook out?" But come on who has the guts to just hang it all out there like that?

Shell