The calm before the storm.

I am just sitting here listening to the rain trying to enjoy the beginnings of the storm without worrying about what comes later. It is so wonderful right now. The rain is falling. I hear it tapping on my tin roof. I don't know that I ever saw a tin roof growing up (other than on a trailer) but they are the most wonderful things ever!

There are crickets outside chirping like crazy. You would think I would find that annoying since it is the reason I am up so early but I don't. I love the sound of crickets! I just can't sleep through them. If the chirping was constant I would be okay but that occasional chirp is what wakes me up.

I know I have said this before but this is my most favoritest time of day. When I am the only one up. My house is quiet except for natural sounds like rain, crickets, and my fingers on the keyboard (LOL) and everyone else is sound asleep. All the people I love most in this world are right here where they are supposed to be.

Sitting here right now it is hard to believe that in just a few hours we will be leaving this house and praying it is still here tomorrow.  I am okay either way. The one thing I learned from having the fire in the house is that I can build a new house with a red tin roof. I can replace almost every material thing I own. My family and I will be safe and snug in town and whatever happens to the house happens.

I knew that the kids were worried. Before this storm started to weaken yesterday they were predicting a Cat 2 hurricane blowing right over the top of my house. I told each of them to pack up a small bag of things they they would truly be sad over if they were destroyed. Each kid picked a few things. Caitie her figurine collections and her piggy bank collection, Timothy his Xbox and his knife collection (what can I say he is a 13 year old boy),  Dan had already decided what to do with his guns (what can I say he is a 42 year old redneck LOL) and I wandered through looking at everything; wondering what I would miss if Irene took it all with her.

In the end all I want are my pictures. The visual reminders of the life we have created for ourselves here. Reminders of birthday parties, school assemblies, church plays, and growing up. Growing up for Timothy and Caitie, growing up for me and Dan. I love this life we have created here. This family we have created here. None of it is connected to the house or the stuff.

Knowing that. Realizing what is important. That is why I can enjoy this morning. Why I can feel such peace in the calm before the storm.

Shell

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  Philippians 4:6

Waiting on Irene

Well here we are ... waiting on Irene.

These are some pictures my friend Autumn took over the York River. You would never know something so dangerous could create such a beautiful sky.

We have spent the day strapping stuff down, putting stuff away, hauling stuff to the dump and borrowing cages for chickens. Tomorrow we will move things upstairs just in case water comes in the house and then head up to our church to wait out the storm.

So all there is left to do is wait... and pray.

Shell



You're So Vain

I feel like someone should be playing that song for me this weekend. I know that Hurricane Irene is not about me but boy oh boy I feel like it is. She took a shift to the west last night and that was not a good thing.

Of all the possible weekends for a visit from a hurricane it had to be this weekend. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal. Secure the stuff in the yard, load up most of the animals, turn the chickens loose (not my preference but I have no way to transport 30 chickens) so they can get to higher ground if they need to, pack and hook up the camper, load up the kids and head inland. Sounds simple enough isn't it? But with me is anything ever just simple? Nope with me it has to be complicated.

Not this weekend. We are supposed to be headed to DC for the Women of Faith conference. Okay no problem I just won't go. Ummm I am driving the minibus and I am the only person on the church insurance to drive it so if I don't go that means a complete reorganization of the trip. We can come back early hoping to miss most of the storm but that leaves Dan to get everything ready. So guilty for making everyone change plans or guilty for leaving Dan to handle everything. What a choice. Okay well even if we could just pack up and leave no schedules to deal with my mom is supposed to fly in on Sunday. Will her flight be delayed? Should she change it? I have no idea.

I know hurricane Irene isn't about me but I can't help thinking of all the weekends why does it have to be on the one weekend this summer that messes with my life the most?

Yep I'm that vain.

Shell

A Tornado, An Earthquake, and now Irene.

This has been the weirdest weather year. Blame it on global warming, the end times, or plain old weather cycles either way it has been flat out bizarre.

It wasn't but a few months ago I was saying we don't have tornadoes here. You couldn't tell that by looking at all the damage caused by the one that touched down less than a mile from my house. The one that destroyed entire neighborhoods here in the town where I live. You know the town where we don't have tornadoes.  I remember saying afterwards I grew up in tornado alley and never saw damage like this.

Now yesterday we had an earthquake. We don't have earthquakes here. My whole house shook or shimmied or wiggled or something. It was crazy. An Earthquake here! Dan and I were talking and he said all those years in California and we never felt one and now we have one here. It is crazy.

And now we have a category 4 Hurricane headed our way. It looks like it is going to skirt the coast and we will get tons of rain but little else. I pray that is what happens anyway. The last time we had one come this close it was down graded to a tropical storm by the time it got here and it still did a far amount of damage.  I am thinking it is going to be like all the others. The stores will be emptied of water, bread, and batteries. Some people will leave, some will stay, and when it is all said and done we will have a little wind and a lot of rain. But then again what do I know? I said we don't have tornadoes or earthquakes.

Shell

So here I am again.

So here I am again. This term in school I started my education classes. I am having a hard time completing them. Up until now school this way has been wonderful for me. Self paced has been such a blessing. I can work on it when I have time. Then when I realize I am in a crunch I catch up. Not a big deal really. I haven't been accelerating my classes. I could have. I could easily have done probably 2 classes per month if I really focused. I have been moving at a comfortable pace with little to no pressure.

Until this term. This term if I finish these classes I am pretty much locked in to this major or the classes will be wasted. This isn't the first time I have been here. I have officially changed my major 8 times. In my head I have changed it at least 8 more. Each and every single time I get close to being done I either quit or change majors. I have even been known to take drastic steps like joining the military to keep from finishing.  I always go back though. I have enough classes under my belt to have a degree in ...well, in taking classes.

But every time I get close to finishing I panic. I think what if this is the wrong choice? What if I really want to do x instead of z? And then I just can't seem to finish.  I am at the same place again. So what is in my future? Is it college major number 9? No. I am not going to change. I am going to muddle through this time. I am not going switch. I may never use it. That is fine. I have decided that it is okay. I may eventually decide to do something else but even if I do I am finishing this.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Shell

Music sooths the soul.

“Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”
E.Y. Harburg

“Music is the shorthand of emotion”
Leo Tolstoy

“Music has the power to move a person between different realities: from a broken body into a soaring spirit, from a broken heart into the connection of shared love, from death into the memory and movement of life. Music has the power to touch the heart of a child with God."
Dr. Deforia Lane

I know I have posted about how much music means to me before. There is something about it that just lifts my mood in a way nothing else does. When I get in one of my funks (and this is pretty heavy one) I have learned there are certain things I can do to help myself out of it. For that I am grateful to the one doctor I saw whom I didn't like. That is kind of ironic really. He is the only doctor have seen that I wouldn't go back to but in reality he probably gave me the best advice. 

He told me read a book. "Yes," he said "You suffer from a type of depression called Dysthymic Disorder. It doesn't go away. It is chemical not situational. That is why you can think your life is great and still feel this way. Now go read this book. Oh and take these pills. You are dismissed."  Okay maybe it wasn't exactly like that but it felt that way at the time. Anyway the book he told me to get is called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr.David Burns.  So I went and bought the book and put it on a shelf. I had it for about 3 years before I read it. I wish I hadn't of waited.

I knew some of what he said. When you have that feeling that you just can't. Can't get up and get dressed. Can't get anything done. Can't solve your problems. Can't take even one more thing. Can't be around people. You do. You get up, get dressed, and go meet a friend for lunch, go to the store, go walk around the mall, go do something. The one thing you DON"T do is stay at home in your pjs all day. Good solid common sense advice that is easier said then done. But then he gives you the key. Find that thing that gives you joy. Whatever it is and do it FIRST. For along time I would have told you for me that was reading. I was wrong. Oh man I was so so wrong. I love books. I truly do. Just like I love my bed and my pillow and my blankets. Books are my way of withdrawing from the world around me. They don't bring me joy. They bring me escape. Important distinction don't you think?

So I searched. I tried shopping (at thrift stores cause there is no cure for being cheap LOL), I tried various crafts, I tried exercise (NO joy there), I tried chickens, I bought a fish tank, I set up a space that was just for me, I did all kinds of things and nothing seemed like the thing. Until I realized I felt the best when I was driving around in the car. Is it driving around? Nope I hate to drive. Then I realized it was the music. I play wonderful, fun, blaringly loud music in the car when I am driving.

I realized I was on to something. I searched for funny songs, uplifting songs, soothing songs, and created a wonderful playlist. Then Apple made my day and released the Beatles songs. WOO HOO.

Here are some of the songs in my playlist:

Funky Jesus Music by TobyMac

Your Love is a Song by Switchfoot

Powerful Stuff by Sean Hayes

It's Good to Be Alive by Babbie Mason

Come Together by The Beatles

The Bob Song by Big and Rich

Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin

Fast as you by Dwight Yoakam

I Love Rainy Night by Eddie Rabbit

Be Still, My Soul by Ginny Owens

Forgiven and Loved by Jummy Needham

I Play Chicken with the Train by Cowboy Troy

Trading My Sorrows by Jubilee Christian Center

I am the Walrus by The Beatles

I Feel Lucky by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Trying to Love Two Women by The Oak Ridge Boys

A Testimony by Rodnie Bryant

Revolution by The Beatles

In My Own Mind by Lyle Lovett

My Baby Don't Tolerate by Lyle Lovett

If I Had Boat by Lyle Lovett

She's No Lady by Lyle Lovett

There is a Way by NewWorldSon

Big Time by Big and Rich

Flowers on the Wall by The Statler Brothers

I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Weird mix huh? I love them all though. And yes I especially love Lyle Lovett. Other songs have been on there and some of these come and go but what a crazy bunch of songs.  I have a list of songs I want to buy and a list of songs to add a lot of them are ones I have on disk and I just haven't had time to transfer them to my ipod. A buck a song is pretty cheap therapy in my opinion.

I love sad wallowy type songs as well but I had to put them in a special playlist on my ipod. They can make things worse if I am not careful.

I tell you music is truly powerful stuff.

Shell

My mom is coming time to dig out my sewing machine.

My mom will be here Sunday night. She will be here for almost 2 weeks.  I already have a ton of plans for us. What are we going to do you might ask. Head to Busch Gardens, Go shopping at the Outlet Mall? Take a trip up to DC? Nope none of that. I have sewing to do... well sewing to be done anyway. My mom will be the one who actually sews. I even have a machine. I bought just for occasions such as this. That is right. I own a sewing machine for my mom to use when she comes to visit.

She has made curtains, hemmed drapes, made clothes and all kinds of stuff when she comes here.  I dug out my machine to get it ready for her visit and it still has the thread in it from that last time she was here. Who knows maybe this time I will take the time to actually learn to use the machine myself.


By the way my machine doesn't look like the one pictured but I wish it did :) My great grandmother had one like this in her bedroom and I loved to play with the pedal.

Shell  

Deep as the Dark Blue Sea

I often joke about being such an optimistic person. I have often said that I am not just a glass half full person I am a glass half full and the half I drank was wonderful. But that is me on a normal day. A good day. A I have been remembering to take my medication day. But ever so often I go through periods where I forget. I am not sure what happens. It isn't intentional. I don't mean to not take them I just forget.

Now I have three medication I take. (See what happens when you get old) I have ADD meds that I take in kinda a spotty when I think I need it kinda way. I have blood pressure medication that I need to take everyday and I have my depression meds. You would think that not taking the blood pressure medication would be the one that would affect me but it isn't. They don't call High Blood Pressure the silent killer for nothing. I can barely even tell a difference. Now that I have been taking them for a while I can tell the difference but not until after I realize I haven't taken them. Nope the Wellbutrin is the one that sets my world off kilter.

But here is the kicker. I don't realize I haven't taken it right away. It takes days. Sometimes weeks. Occasionally months. But little at a time it creeps up on me. Then one day I wake up and I realize that I am miserable. I am sad for no reason. Small little things set me off. Seems like I can't cope with the everyday little things that are usually no big deal. Sometimes it feels like I can't breath. A strange feeling that is something like drowning. It is like a mood as deep as the dark blue sea.

Then it hits me ... I haven't been taking my medication.  So back on the meds I go. I doesn't work right away. It takes a couple weeks. But the good news is that it didn't take me as long this time to realize what my problem is. I have learned to spot the warning signs sooner. At some point I am hoping that I will manage to remember to take the meds everyday but so is life I guess.

Shell 

Sometimes you hit the jackpot.

Last night we had a ladies night out at Salsa's. Technically it was the dinner for us to get together and plan our up coming trip to the Women of Faith conference in DC. But we didn't just have women who were going on the trip we called it an Ladies Night Out and invited everyone. I am not sure how many came I am going to take a guess and say 15 or so. It was a fun night with great conversation, much laughter, and good food.

One of the ladies who was sitting at the far end of the table kept coming and going. She would sit there for 10 or 15 minutes then I would see her hop up and go to another section but I couldn't see what she was doing. Then a few minutes later she would come back.  I leaned over and asked my friend "What is Rachel doing?" (Cause yeah I am nosey like that) Come to find out her little boy (who just happens to be the sweetest thing ever!) is having separation anxiety issues so... are you ready for this... her sweet husband came with her to sit with the baby in the restaurant so she could come have dinner with us.

Yep, Dan would have done that. Since my kids are 11 and 13 we don't have any separation anxiety to deal with. We had Karate for one and needing to be dropped off for a sleepover for the other one. No problem Dan handled it. Like always. Notice the like always on there. This isn't an isolated thing. This is Dan being Dan.

I hear enough from other women to know not everyone is so blessed. There aren't that many Dan's out there.

I have chosen the difficult path out of shear stubbornness in many areas of my life. Sometimes things just flat out don't go my way. I am not the "luckiest" person. I never win door prizes. My number is never the one chosen. If there is a drawing it is running joke that some else needs to pick the tickets. But in this one area, when it comes to Dan, I hit the jackpot and I thank God every single day.

Shell

Why blog?

Something someone said the other day made me stop and think.

Why Blog?

I know there are all different reasons.

Some people blog so they can promote their business. I know when I sold Real Estate they recommended that you have a blog to talk about Real Estate to establish yourself as the "go to" person if people had Real Estate questions. I never really was able to get into that idea and didn't start blogging until I stopped selling Real Estate. Not that there is anything wrong with that as an idea. I enjoy reading peoples business blogs.

Some people blog as a way to keep in touch with family members telling stories and posting pictures to keep everyone updated about what is going on. I like to read those as well. It is so much fun to see what everyone is up to.

Some people blog about things they feel strongly about. There are environmental blogs, political blogs, religious blogs, and tons of homeschooling blogs. I like to read those too. I like the ones whose view points are like mine and ones that aren't. It is fun to read all different points of view.

I have also read blogs that people write as a way to work through problems or issues they are dealing with. Illnesses often top the list of this type of blog. Some of these I have read some I just can't because they are too emotional for me.

There are also many artists who have blogs. I really like these blogs. They use them to share their work. Poetry, short stories, paintings, music, jewlery and on and on. These talented people are able to use blogging as a way to show people thier creations.

Then there are people like me. I just have a lot to say. I have tried to journal because I always thought it would help me to dump all the junk that was in my mind on to paper. I always have so many ideas and thoughts swirling around in there it is no wonder that I can't focus any one. I have read so many books that talk about journaling as a way to clear you  mind. For some reason or another I have never been able to keep up with a journal but blogging seems to work for me.

I try to just be me and that means I talk about all different things. Politics, my kids, my dogs, my chickens, my faith, my depression, and sometimes about nothing at all.  As I told someone the other day whether anyone reads my blog or not blogging gives me just what I needed ... a place where I can talk as much as I want too.

Shell

Man am I crafty!

So this week I am trying to learn something new. This all started back when I was looking for a picture of the saying in one of my old blogs Use It Up Wear It Out Make It Do Or Do Without.

That got me to thinking that I want to learn to embroidery.  I tried crosstitching a while back but when I was little years ago my grandmother taught me to embroidery. I don't remember much that she showed me but I think maybe it will come back to me. I have watched a couple videos on youtube and those stitches came back to me pretty fast. I have a friend here who embroiders and she has offered to help if I need it.

I am going to try small projects to see if that works. Who knows maybe I will actually finish something.

I have so many things I want to try to do. I want to learn to knit, I want the relearn to crochet, I want to try making cards with stamps. I want to pick scrapbooking back up. I would love to take painting lessons again. I really wish there was a place to do ceramics around here. Truth is I just love crafts! Or is it the stuff to do crafts I love? As Patsy Clairmont said at a Women of Faith conference years ago "I am not a crafter, I am a collector of crafting supplies."

Shell

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

I feel a bit like complaining today. So you my most wonderful friends get to read about it. I didn't wake up in a complaining mood. I really didn't I woke up in a happy mood. But you know how sometimes you think maybe you should have just stayed in bed? Well that would be today.

My allergies are acting up and my nose is running like crazy. So the natural result of that is that I had to blow my nose. What isn't normal about the situation? I just blew my nose in a coffee filter.  That is right you heard me. I was desperate I tell you, absolutely desperate. So how did this absolute craziness come about?

Let me ask you a question. Do you have kids in your house? If so, do you go through a TON of toilet paper?  If so, do they tell you when they grab the last roll? Because mine don't.  So let me back up and start with climbing out of bed.

I get out of bed and first thing I do is head to the bathroom. Thank you God I noticed before I sat down there was no TP. So I go to the laundry closet where I keep it. I know I just bought a new pack a few days ago. I am mumbling to myself about how no one ever replaces the roll when it is empty and how rude that is. I open the closet door and right were the TP should be is an empty Charmin wrapper. Not only did who ever took the last roll not tell me but they left the packaging behind and didn't even bother to throw it away.  Okay I am annoyed but I know I have tissues so it isn't the end of the world.  So I go grab the tissues. 3. I count them 1. 2. 3. Three tissues left in the box. *Sigh* Okay I do what I need to and now there are 2. The general store doesn't open till 8 am so I have an hour until I can go buy tissues and TP. Surely we can make it an hour I mean the kids are still asleep right now.

So I go in the kitchen to make coffee. I get everything out. I start the coffee. And as I start to put the coffee and filters away I have a sneezing fit. And then I need a tissue. 2. There are two left. I don't want to use them what if someone needs them before 8. My nose is running. I turn around and reach for a paper towel. None. Who used the last of the paper towels? And left the paper towel roller instead of throwing it away I might ad. But anyway I go to the pantry (nose running) to get another roll of paper towels. No paper towels.

So I do the only thing I can do. I grab a coffee filter and blow. So now I am sitting here waiting for 8 am so I can go get TP, tissues, and paper towels. But here is the my complaint. I was at Walmart last night! I could have  bought all of this last night! If only, if only people would tell me when we are ALMOST out of shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, TP, tissues, paper towels, water filters, water softener salt,  and about 100 other consumables around here I wouldn't have to make 40 trips to the store each week and blast it all I wouldn't have to blow my nose on coffee filters just in case someone wakes up to go potty before the store opens at 8.

Shell

Shall We Gather at the River

Yesterday August 14, 2011 (take note of the date by the way) both Timothy and Caitie were baptized in our church's annual river baptism service. Both had asked to baptized before then but I was a bit hesitant. As I told our youth pastor... I don't think you should go baptizing people all willy-nilly you need to make sure it means something first. So finally I decided they really got what it meant. We reached this place with Caitie almost a year ago but she wanted to wait for the river baptism. Timothy was a bit more hesitant. He attended a friends river baptism last year and right before he was baptized he was bit by a crab. but in the end he decided the river would be okay.

Here are Timothy and Pastor Mike right before he goes under.

Here he is going under.

Here are Caitie and Pastor Mike right before.

And here she is on the way under. I love this shot!

But here is something you may not know. A few days before Jennifer called me and pointed something out to me I didn't realize:

On August 14, 2001 (yes that is exactly 10 years to the day ) here Dan and I are at the river baptism.

There are me and Dan and Pastor Mike in the same river 10 years earlier.

Here we are afterwards with the Deathridge's who moved shortly after this.

I think that is really neat. I really had no idea when we set this up that it was going to work out like that but I think it is awesome.

Shell

Summer summer where have you gone? Come on Fall!

I can't believe how fast this summer has flown by. It has been the fastest summer yet I think. Seems like just yesterday I was trying to decide if I should quit my job and stay home with the kids all summer. Now here it is almost time for school to start and me to go back to work. Time does indeed fly.

I have some really mixed feelings about it. Part of me hates to see the summer end and the kids go back to school. Part of me is so ready for the sense of order and schedule that comes with school and work. Plus I am so so tired of being hot. I am ready for it to cool off and for the leaves to change.

But I am always ready for fall. I so wish I could find a place where it is Fall all year. Not possible I  know. You can't get the beautiful colorful leaves of the fall with out the dead of winter or the buds of spring.... and the heat of summer.

Okay truth is I love Fall and I like Winter and I like Spring so truth is what I would really like is a year with 3 seasons. Just no summer. That would work. I bet I can even find a place like that.

But for right now it is still summer. I have two weeks then it will be back to the real world for all of us.

Shell

Buying puzzles at yard sales, yep I'm a risk taker!

I stopped by a yard sale today and they had a whole stack of puzzles for 25¢ each. I always said I would never buy an open puzzle at a yard sale or a thrift store. Can you imagine if you put the whole puzzle together and were missing like 1 or 2 pieces.

I love puzzles but have you priced them lately? It is crazy how much a puzzle costs even at Walmart. So I evaluated the situation. It was an old lady having the yard sale. A sweet little old grandma looking lady. Surely she wouldn't cheat me by selling me a puzzle that didn't have all the pieces. I also have two kids who know how to count. They could make sure each 500 piece puzzle had all 500 pieces before we do the puzzles. I decided the benefits outweighed the risk!

Yep $1 for four puzzles that may or may not have all the pieces. I am a mad woman. Risk taking is my middle name. Somebody better hold me back! Why tomorrow I might even go play Bingo!

Shell

Angus and His Abs for Daaays

aaa

When the kids were small I used to love to watch kids shows with them.

I loved Blue's Clues. (with Steve of course)

We watched Stanley's Great Big Book of Everything.

I have mentioned my very favorite that I still watch on occasion called Peep and the Big Wide World.

As the kids have grown older there have been a a few shows that I have enjoyed but for the most part I miss the days when we watched cartoons.

I have enjoyed I-Carly and Good Luck Charly is pretty funny.

I do like Phineas and Ferb but that is a cartoon.

But the other day I watched something that just flat out cracked me up. I am going to link to it. So far no one but Timothy seems to think it is as funny as I do but everytime I watch this I laugh so for your viewing pleasure I introduce to you..... Angus and his Abs for Daaaayss.

Shell

Thankful Thursdays: The view from my backdoor.

I love mornings when it isn't so hot. I have a tiny little coffee deck I built on the back of my house. It is just big enough for a table and two chairs plus Dan's grill and smoker. I only get a small window of time twice year that I really get to enjoy it. Early spring and fall are about the only times it is cool enough and the bugs aren't too bad. But this morning it feels nice outside. I stepped out on my deck to check the bug situation (still too many to sit out there long) and just took in what I could see.

I love the idea of my land being productive. What I don't love is the money it would take to buy a tractor and the other things needed to farm it. We are only big enough to be a hobby farm and I don't have that kind of spare cash to invest in a hobby right now. Maybe someday but not now.  So what we do is we have a local farmer farm it. It gives me the joy of seeing the land be productive, makes Dan happy cause he doesn't have to mow all that cleared space back there, and it makes the farmer happy. Win win win!

Anyway he alternates crops and this year is soy beans. Not my favorite crop. I like when he does corn because having a huge corn field out back just feels like country but the soy beans are pretty this year.

So as I stood there I looked at my field full of soy beans, my cherry tomato plant that is doing wonderful, the shed that Dan and his dad built a couple years ago, the farm house out behind ours that a young couple is restoring, and I thought I LOVE the view from my backdoor!

I took these picture this morning

I took this one first with the camera on my phone. Then I realized there wasn't enough light.

By the time I went back out with  my camera to take this one the beautiful sky had passed.

Here is my list from my thankfulness journal this week:

Good coffee

Growing chickens

Peace

A check in the mail

Obligations met

Bedroom cleaned

School Schedules

Jobs found

Fun plans

Crazy Husbands

Verses learned

Hope you all have a peace filled day!

Shell

Pinball Wizard

No this isn't some crazy blog tribute to The Who although I have to admit all I had to do was type in the title and the song is running through my head.

Great... one more pinball.

I am having another one of those mornings where I just can't seem to slow my thoughts down enough to catch one of them. They are bouncing around in my head like a punch of pinballs.  Yep complete with bells, whistles, and really loud buzzers. When I have one of these days there isn't much I do about it except kinda go with the flow and play a little pinball. The thing is if you have ever played a game of pinball with more than one ball in play at a time you know chances are you will lose both balls. That is what tends to happen to me. I end up losing all my thoughts while trying to keep them all in play.  So I decided I would just let them all bounce around in there a while this morning and see what happens.

So here are some examples of what is going on in there (I must forewarn you a look inside my head might be a bit scary for small children and cute fuzzy animals):

1. Where am I going to find a good  bible study for next fall. I am not sure there are a few options but I am just not sure yet which I am going to do.

2. Children's Church, Children's Church, Children's Church. Nough said.

3. If your children truly do learn by example mine are pretty much screwed.

4. When am I ever going to get this house manageable? Okay, I know it isn't that bad right now. If someone called and said they were headed over I could have it presentable before they got here (one of the benefits of living in the middle of nowhere) but I am so tired of it going from picked up to disaster to picked up to disaster to picked up to disaster sometimes all in the same day. This is wearing me out!

5. School work. Once again enough said.

6. One of the stupid dogs was out again today. If I didn't think it would break my children's heart (which I don't understand because they never mess with the dogs anyway) I would get rid of all of them. Well other than Kaya cause she is mine. But she is the one who was out so what would that accomplish?

7. I really need to get back to my thankfulness journal. I have been very very spotty this summer.

8. Speaking of a spotty summer, why do we (notice I said we, not calling anyone out without including myself) check out of church in the summer? Do we think God is on vacation all summer?  Is there some scripture I missed that says "Do not forsake fellowship with other Christians except when it is hot outside and everyone is out on the river anyway"

9. I really need to be practicing my clarinet. I wanted to be able to play again but this stupid flubbery lip isn't going to go away if I don't practice.  Oh and piano lessons on youtube might be fun. Or I could use Caitie's guitar. I bet there are guitar lessons on youtube. Crap I was supposed to sign Caitie up for lessons and I forgot.

10. I have a lot of kids at my house. I like that.

11. My clothes are out of control. Straight up no more buying something cause it is a buck. Like my friend Marie said "Doesn't matter if it only costs $2 if you don't wear it you paid $2 too much" I love Marie.

12. I am actually doing pretty good with Heather's memory verse challenge. This is the first time I have really worked to memorize scripture and I like it.

13. I am going to be really sad for Timothy when the Sandovals leave for Ohio next week. Sucks to have your best friend move away. I predict a really rough week.

14. Speaking of Timothy he is really enjoying Karate. I am glad but we have made it very clear to him that while the summer lessons where part of his birthday present and if he wants to continue he will have to earn them with no zeros and a good attitude.

15. The cat just tried to jump up on the computer desk and knocked off a stack of blank CDs . A 100 pack. The lid popped off and bright shiny light reflecting Cds went everywhere. It was like a rock concert light show in here for about a second. Ya'll shoulda seen it.

16. I should have already taken care of my chickens by now. It will be hot by the time I get out there cause I waited. Oh well thats what I get for getting on the computer first.

17. I am not sure where my mom is going to sleep for the 2 weeks she is here. I turned my guest room into an office. I guess in all my furniture moving around I can put one of Caitie's twin beds in there for her since she wants to get rid of them and sleep on a couch. Yep you heard me my daughter wants to sleep on a couch instead of a bed. In her room but still she wants a couch. She is a nut.

18. Had someone call me about a job yesterday. One I am NOT qualified for. They tried to convince me I am. I thought that was odd. Doesn't it usually go the other way?

19. Is anyone even still reading cause let me tell you I could keep going.

20. Montana (thanks Lori).

21. Politics, Politics, Politics. Again enough said.

22. What do you guys think about this whole solar flare thing NASA is reporting on? Here is one of the links Nasa says Solar Storms to peak in 2013. I chose that one because it isn't a scary article. Just the facts and only the facts. Other science journals are predicting everything from loss of power to the end of the world. Seems if we get too many solar flares pointed straight at earth it will block our satellites, cut off communication, and cause black outs that could last for years. Hmmm interesting.

23. I just want to point out that when I said in a previous blog  tips to avoid messing up the space time continuum that I knew what to do in case of a Natural Disaster due to all my B rated scifi movie watching adventures.... the answer is always a nuclear bomb so you might not want to actually depend on my to save the planet.  Just saying.

24. I just paid almost 50 dollars for a new biblea couple days ago. The cat used the back of it to sharpen his claws at some point last night. Yea.

25. Speaking of the river (I did in #8 remember) both my kids are being baptiszed (I put the s and z in there cause I couldn't decide which it was and it was easier to just put both) in the river this Sunday!

26. I could do this all day but it isn't getting my chickens fed, my house picked up, my shower taken, breakfast cooked, errands run, or any other such useful thing.

Now don't you wish this had of been a simple little blog tribute to The Who?

Shell

Sometimes moving the couch is the best solution.

I know I mentioned before that I think I have some gypsy in my somewhere. I get antsy after a while and start wanting things to change. A new town, new house, new stuff, new job, new people,a fresh start, it sounds so appealing. Over time I have come to realize that I can move once a year if I want but it isn't going to fix whatever it is I think is broken.

You know the old saying  "No matter where you go, there you are"? Well I have found that to be so so true. A big change isn't going to change that.

So what I am doing this week instead of running away and joining the military (oops been there done that), buying a gyspsy caravan, or moving to Timbuktu? I am rearranging the furniture. Not just some of the furniture. Oh not not me. I am rearranging the whole house. I am swapping stuff from room to room, adding a couple pieces I bought from the Gloucester Trash and Treasure FB page, replacing curtains, and hopefully painting at some point.

I am thinking this will fill my need for something different, cost a lot less, and I won't have to find new friends. Sounds like a win win to me.

Shell

An Andrea style countdown.

aaa

I have a friend who is always doing "countdowns" to exciting things that are soon to happen in her life. I decided that today would be a good day to do that so here goes:

  7 days till my brothers birthday.
18 days till we leave for the Women of Faith conference.
20 days until my mom arrives.
29 days till school starts.
29 days till my new job starts.
85 days until the end of my current school term and I have to have 4 classes complete.

Of course that is with my trying to figure out if you count today or the day the thing happens. I guess I should have sought council before I attempted something as complicated as a countdown LOL.

Shell

Remember when...

All these pages are popping up all over Facebook. Remember in ________ when... You know you grew up in _______ when...  I guess I am not the only one who gets kinda nostalgic on occasion. I get something that borders on homesick ever so often. The thing that keeps me from convincing Dan we need to move back to Texas is that I know I am not really homesick for Quanah. I am not homesick for my family or friends. What I am is homesick for a simpler time. Time when all these Remember whens happened.

The world is changing. It already has changed in some really big ways. You can't turn the clock back and make things the way they used to be but boy oh boy sometimes I wish I could. I haven't joined any of those groups. I am not sure why. If I had a good reason I would share it but I don't. So I decided I would make my own list here.  Now I know that most of you who read this couldn't find Quanah on a map with a magnifying glass and so none of this will mean diddly to you. But I bet you will see bits of where ever you grew up in my list where ever that was.

• Role call in school when you had to say where you were eating. Your choices were buying, home, Als.
• Walking to Al's then Edna's for lunch.
• Spiderswinging  on the swings at recess.
• Sitting out in the concrete tubes at recess talking.
• Riding bikes all over town just so you were home before the street lights came on.
• Walking home from school everyday.
• Vanilla Cream Cokes and Sunrise Special burritos from Ken's.
• Shopping at M.E. Moses cause it was the only choice.
• Pooling together all of our change to go make drags.
• Making drags in general.
• Hanging out at the softball field.
• Swimming in the city pool.
• Half the teachers at the High School being someone in my classes' parent.
• Swimming at Copperbreaks State park.
• Showing up an hour early for school at the football field to practice marching band.
• Pep Rally's on Fridays.
• State in Football!
• Rodeo Dances.
• Trying my hand at waiting tables at Red's.
• Working at Sonic forever.

I don't know what Quanah is like now to be honest with you it was 13 years ago the last time I was there. And let me tell you it hurt to drive through there. Stores were closed, houses were empty, and it just made me sad. I have friends who still live there. I know they are hopeful the town will stay alive. What I do know is that then it was good place to grow up.

Shell

Where Oh Where did common sense go? Where Oh Where can it be?

aaa

So after my time today searching for cheaper groceries (which I did not find by the way) I went to the Lifeway Book Store and to be honest with you if the cashier weren't so nice she would have kinda ticked me off.

First, Caitie wanted to buy Tobymac's book "City on Our Knees". It was on sale for $3.95. Usually a $20 book. There was a display of them as you walk in the door. Caitie grabbed on and tossed it in the basket.

I was looking for a new bible (cause you know having 6 isn't enough). I have found that I like a different translation a little better than the one I use now so I have been meaning to buy one. Anyway the one I wanted was on sale.

So here is what happened. First of all I asked the cashier if I could use my 30% off coupon on the Bible even though it was on sale. Sometimes with Lifeway you can, sometimes you can't. She said "I am not sure let me try it and see".

Once she was finished the total seemed a little high to me. So I asked her about it. She said "It is probably the tobymac book. You know, you could get that for $3.95 instead of $20". "I know" I said, "That is why we got it". "Oh this one isn't $3.95" she said, "This one is $20. See, it doesn't have the little on sale tag on it so it is regular price". "Ooookayy" I say. "Is this book just like that book or is there a difference?"  "Oh they are the same" she replies. "But since it doesn't have the sticker it is $20. We must have missed that one." She then proceeds to explain that if we go get a different book (that is the same) and put that one back she will take it off and charge us $3.95. So we do.

Then I asked her how much the bible was with the 30% off. Oh it was $45 dollars with the percentage off so it was cheaper on sale. Okay can I use my coupon on the next expensive item? "No", she sweetly explains it can only be used on one item and she already used it on the bible. Huh? It was more with the coupon but she used it anyway? What?

Anyway, needless to say by the time we left I was a bit confused, kinda tired, and I am pretty sure I paid too much for something I am just not sure what.

She sure was sweet though.

Shell

Have you seen the price of groceries lately?

I know the price of groceries have been creeping up lately but yesterday it seemed like they forgot about creeping and sky rocketed.

Sugar is now 3 dollars a bag and flour is 2 dollars a bag both store brand. Land o' Lakes butter is over 4 dollars a pound. I know I have said I was going to start using coupons but I am not sure if that would be enough to even bring our grocery bill down to normal.

Today I am going to head across the bridge to try a few grocery stores to see if I can find any place any cheaper. I am going to go to Bottom Dollar Foods and see what it is like. I have never been there but when I was over there a couple of days ago I saw it. I have checked and I see that they take coupons so that is a plus.

I am not sure where else to go so if anyone has any ideas where I can try next week let me know.  Also if anyone has found any ways to save money on groceries that info would be appreciated as well.

Shell

Thankful Thursdays (Count your blessings one by one)

Today has been a good day. Actually a real good day. I got a lot done.  I watered the plants that my friend Dottie gave me. I think some of them might make it.  But whether they do or not I got them in the ground right away so I did my part.

Now as far as counting my blessings go I have a pretty big one today. I am pretty sure I found my new job today. I am hoping it works out. It seems to me to be the perfect blend of the money we need, time for me to do school work, and good experience for down the road. Not to mention the fact that it would still allow me to go to my Friday morning coffee.

So it was indeed a very good day.

Okay so here is my list of things I am thankful for this week:

New recipes
My mom'''s flight info
Extreme soccer camp (without me)
Dogs outside
Caitie's clean room
Growing guineas
Old friends
Clothes on the line
Shared thoughts
Decisions made
Plants




Shell

"Just do it!" If only it were that easy.

I was thinking about things in general this morning. Things I would like to change. Things I like the way they are. What I thought my life would be at 40 vs. what it is. That kind of thing.

So once again I got a little annoyed with myself. The things I would like to change now are the same things I wanted to change 10 years ago. Then 5 years ago.  And now. So the question is in 5 years or 10 years am I still going to be sitting here wanting to change the same old things?  I have made some progress I guess. Not 10 years worth that is for sure.

Then I was thinking about a particular friend of mine. I won't name names but you know who you are. We have been friends for 10 years now. I complain to her she complains to me. We lament our same ole same ole. But I think we are still having the same conversations today we had back then. We have added new problems as the kids get older but we haven't really solved any of the old ones.

We talk and talk and talk about all the changes we are going to make. How we are going to get organized. How we are going to simplify our lives. How I am going to learn to say no to other people and how she is going to learn to say yes to herself. How this year we are going to remember people's birthdays. Changes we are going to make in our houses. Changes we are going to make in our attitudes. She is going to start going to church and I am going to find a "real" job. She is going to stop stressing so much about little things and I am going to go to school. Round and round and round we go but we never get anywhere.

I think it is time to get off the merry-go-round and actual make something happen. Of course I am pretty sure I said that 5 years ago.

Shell

Do I want some plants?

Today my friend Dotti called me. She said she was done fighting the deer and was having her husband mow her flower garden. Now that might not seem like such a big huge deal unless you had ever seen her flower gardens. Years of work have gone into these flower gardens. I knew the deer were being a nuisance to her. I knew they were grazing in her gardens but I never dreamed she would really give up.

So the question was did I want some plants. Did I want some plants! Of course I wanted some plants. I really do hate working outside in the yard. I go back and forth between wanting a Better Homes and Gardens type yard and wanting to sell the house and buy a condo so I don't even have a yard. So do you want some plants was like asking me do you want to weigh 125. Of course I do I just don't want to do the work needed to get there.  So now what I have is a pick up truck bed FULL of plants. I mean FULL. But what I don't have is a place to put them. And it is hot out there. Yuck! And I would have to like till and dig and weed and plant. Double Yuck! So I am waiting until Dan gets home. He can till for me and then maybe I can at least manage to plant them.

Here is a list of what she gave me as best as I can remember:

Salvia Guaranitica also called Black and Blue
Lantana
2 or 3 kinds of ground cover that I can't remember the name of
Sedum Autumn Joy
A baptista plant
Some fern like plant I don't remember the name of.
An ornamental grass that blooms bright red.
Tons of tall phlox
Some Lamb's Ear
Black Eyed Susans
A Dogwood tree
Some yellow day lilies
Cone Flowers
Purple Basil
Bee Balm

I am sure there are others. I am not even sure what all is there. I am also pretty sure that I will never be able to remember what plant is what. If things live until next year when they bloom I should be able to sort it out. Who knows maybe I will get that Better Homes and  Garden yard after all.

Shell

Picture Day

Today was picture day in the chicken coop. I haven't posted any pics since they were all tiny little babies. I tell you what though they don't make it easy to get any good shots. You would think they would at least have the good manors to stay still for just one minute.


These are pictures of the standard size chickens I have. Once they get old enough to lay I will probably have about 10 eggs a day. Just about 2 more months.

The rooster is one of the ones my friend Kim hatched for me.

This is also one of the ones Kim hatched.

The reds are Red Stars. Great layers once they get old enough.

This is a leg horn roo. I have a he and a she both were hatched at a local school.

Here is the she.

This a New Hampshire Red chicken.

The next set of pictures are my bantams. These are barnyard mixes. All she could tell me are that she had bantam americanas, silkies, and cochens in there. They are smaller chickens. Their eggs are edible but they are small eggs. They say roughly 3 bantam eggs make 2 regular eggs. I am not sure about that cause I have never had these before.  What I don't know for sure is if these are pullets or roos.

Not sure what this one is.

This one is at least part Americana.

Here are some cochen mixes.

More cochen mixes and one of my four guinea hens.

Here is my old english bantam mille fluer.

Another shot of my Americana.

Here is my favorite of them all. I have no idea what it is but it is SOOOOOO soft.

Another Americana mix.

Shell