Sunday, February 10, 2013

25 Things Tim should know.




So I did my 25 Things I want Caitie to know so I figured to be fair I should do one for Timothy as well. A list for him is a little bit harder for me to come up with since I can only look at things from a female perspective but here goes anyway:

1. Nobody owes you anything. NO ONE. Not me and dad, not the school, not your boss, not your friends. NO ONE.

2. Life isn't fair. Just isn't.

3. Not every one's mind works the way yours does. You see things others don't. It is up to you if you take advantage of it or not.

4. YOLO doesn't mean throw common sense out the window and have a good time. Take the time and learn from others so you don't have to make the same mistakes they make so you can make the most of the one life you have.

5. You don't always get to choose what life throws at you. But even though you don't get this yet .... you ALWAYS get to choose how you react to it.

6. Some of the smartest people who have lived believe in God and have the most amazing stories of faith. Don't let anyone tell you that because you are smart you can't believe.

7. If a girl ever tells you that you can "hook up" no strings attached she is lying to you. She may be lying to herself too but I am telling you right now girls aren't wired the same way guys are and no matter what she says to her it will mean something even if she never tells you it did.

8. Take chances. Safe isn't always the best.

9. Never ever ever get behind the wheel if you have been drinking or get in with someone who has. Some stupid choices are forever and boy this can be one of them.

10.  Actually interaction with real live humans is important. Gaming is fine and I know it is social but sometimes you need face time.

11. Ask for what you want. People can't read your mind and the only way anyone will know you need something is if you speak up.

12. Look people in the eye when you talk to them.

13. Sunblock... always

14. You are you. I don't know anyone else like you. I mean that. You are smart, you are funny, and you capable of doing whatever moves you. Don't settle just because you don't know what that is.

15. "Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings" Salvador Dali

16. If I could pick a son I would pick you. Truth is I like you which is cool cause there is no rule that says I have to. I am supposed to love you I am hard wired for that but it is an extra blessing that I get to like you as well.

17. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

18. Everyone is faking it. Everyone has a persona they show to the world. No one is as happy as they seem, as cool as they seem, and no one's life is as perfect as it looks. Everyone has things they don't want the rest of the world to see. Just be as genuine as you can.

19. Don't ever change who you are for someone else. Get to know the guy you see in the mirror. Do you like him? He is the only person you should change for.

20. Get good at giving gifts and remember the important days when you should give them. It matters.

21. Goofy is okay. Stay goofy.

22. Girls are weird. We change our minds a lot. We say one thing but mean another. We worry a lot about what other people think. Sometimes we are worth it but usually we aren't. So before you decide to turn your life upside down for a girl make sure she is one of the ones who are worth the trouble.

23. While it may be true that sometimes we say one thing but mean another No means No every single time period.

24. You may think it is funny to make PMS jokes but trust me girls don't.

25. Like I said in the list I made for your sister... No matter what happens. No matter how scared or embarrassed you are. No matter how bad you mess up or what you think we will think ... you can ALWAYS ALWAYS come home

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Home?

My friend Andrea Anderson got the greatest gift today. The adoption of her foster son became final today. Matthew John-Daniel Anderson who was already the son of her heart became theirs legally. It was a long road. He has been with them almost 2 years. There were times it seemed like it wouldn't happen and times it seemed like it would and then finally it did. Matthew John-Daniel Anderson has a forever home.

I had that thought. When I saw the pictures she posted on facebook I thought wow he has a home. Then I thought to his little self today isn't really any different then yesterday. As far as he was concerned he already had a home. That of course got me to thinking about home in general.



What makes a house a home? A family a home? A town a home? It makes me think home really isn't a place. Home is a feeling. When I refer to Texas I always call it home. When I think about Quanah I think of it as home that is where my memories are. But you know the more I thought about it when I go back to Texas I go to Abilene and it feels like home. I barely even lived there but you know what my mom and brothers are there. When I see a facebook post about Newington I think of it as home. I have been gone over a year but you know what there are people that I love there. Here in Ohio we are renting a house. It isn't really ours but it is home. That is because the people I love most in this world are here.

So what is home really? It isn't a structure or a place or any other physical thing. Home is where you love and are loved and Matthew John-Daniel Anderson was already home.


Shell

Sunday, February 3, 2013

25 things I want Caitie to know



 Caitie,


1. To quote Dr. Seuss “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  The fact that you are you is one of the most special things about you. Don't ever let anyone take that away.

2.  Don't grow up too fast. I am not sure when 12 became the new 17 but enjoy yourself and have fun. There is no reason to rush into all that drama.

3. Sometimes people aren't who you thought they were. It happens. They will let you down sometimes. It hurts. It sucks. It will be okay.

4. Choose your friends wisely. Right or wrong, fair or not... people will judge you based on the company you keep.

5. The clothes you choose to wear make a statement. Make sure you mean what they are saying.

6. Always create. You have a creative spirit that makes me smile. Don't ever let any person's criticisms cause you to stop being artistic.

7. Take care of yourself. You need to eat good foods, sleep at night, and be active. Physically, mentally, spiritually it all matters.

8. Don't let any boy define who you are. You do not belong to any person. You are a child of God and you belong to Him.

9. Read! Always Read!

10. The day will come when you will love all that crazy curly hair.

11. Don't ever let the fact that you are a girl stop you from doing whatever you want to do. You can do anything. I know people are supposed to tell their kids that but I really mean it. You have the talent, the intelligence and the fortitude to do ANYTHING.

12. Go places! See things! There is a whole lot of world out there to experience. There is nothing wrong with Virginia or Ohio but there is also Seattle Washington, Denver Colorado, Dallas Texas, Paris France and of course London England.

13. Breathe! In and out slowly and deeply. When you are stressed breathe. When you are angry breathe. When it feels like the world is crashing in Breathe! It seems crazy but really it is calming. It allows your body to respond appropriately to the situation. So stop and breathe!

14. Don't use prayer as a last resort. It should be the first thing you do not the last.

15. Choose to be grateful. Choosing to be grateful can truly change your life. Even when things are going wrong if you stop and look there is so much to be grateful for.

16. Music sets the tone for your day. It truly honestly does. The kind of music you choose to listen to has a great impact on your mood. Choose wisely.

17. Sometimes you just have a bad day but remember "It is a bad day not a bad life."

18. The one time I was the most wrong in my whole life is when I said I only wanted one child. I am so grateful every single day that Dad wanted two. My life wouldn't be half as wonderful if you weren't part of it.

19. You are going to mess up. We all do. Learn from it. Move on and forgive yourself. Carrying around the weight of all the times you messed up will keep you from being your best.

20. Smart is the new cool. Never ever be ashamed of the fact that you are smart. Go ahead be good at Math and Science. There is nothing wrong with being smart.

21. Mean is never okay. Making others feel small is never the way to feel bigger. Treat other people the way you would want to be treated.

22. When people do things you don't understand remember that we all have a story and you might not know theirs.  You never know what people are carrying around with them. Parents who don't care, parents who drink too much. Mom's with too many boyfriends, Dad's who are in jail. Physical abuse, emotional abuse. Family members who are sick or who have died. Remember that decisions they make are about them not about you and cut them some slack.

23. Drugs are bad. Simply enough they destroy lives and ruin futures. Just don't.

24. Never ever ever take a picture (or allow a picture to be taken) of yourself that you don't want everyone to see. Once things are out there in cyberland via text message, email, or on the web it can never be completely erased.

25. No matter what happens. No matter how scared or embarrassed you are. No matter how bad you mess up or what you think we will think ... you can ALWAYS ALWAYS come home.


Love,

Mom