Monday, August 22, 2011

Deep as the Dark Blue Sea

I often joke about being such an optimistic person. I have often said that I am not just a glass half full person I am a glass half full and the half I drank was wonderful. But that is me on a normal day. A good day. A I have been remembering to take my medication day. But ever so often I go through periods where I forget. I am not sure what happens. It isn't intentional. I don't mean to not take them I just forget.

Now I have three medication I take. (See what happens when you get old) I have ADD meds that I take in kinda a spotty when I think I need it kinda way. I have blood pressure medication that I need to take everyday and I have my depression meds. You would think that not taking the blood pressure medication would be the one that would affect me but it isn't. They don't call High Blood Pressure the silent killer for nothing. I can barely even tell a difference. Now that I have been taking them for a while I can tell the difference but not until after I realize I haven't taken them. Nope the Wellbutrin is the one that sets my world off kilter.

But here is the kicker. I don't realize I haven't taken it right away. It takes days. Sometimes weeks. Occasionally months. But little at a time it creeps up on me. Then one day I wake up and I realize that I am miserable. I am sad for no reason. Small little things set me off. Seems like I can't cope with the everyday little things that are usually no big deal. Sometimes it feels like I can't breath. A strange feeling that is something like drowning. It is like a mood as deep as the dark blue sea.

Then it hits me ... I haven't been taking my medication.  So back on the meds I go. I doesn't work right away. It takes a couple weeks. But the good news is that it didn't take me as long this time to realize what my problem is. I have learned to spot the warning signs sooner. At some point I am hoping that I will manage to remember to take the meds everyday but so is life I guess.


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