Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Overwhelmed! Joy or Junk?

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I didn't even realize it until this morning. I should have realized it yesterday when I didn't get anything done. I had plans to get so much accomplished and then I just kinda wandered around. That is a sure sign for me that I am near the end of my rope. It is probably no surprise all things considered.

It has been a crazy couple of months.  Starting with our crazy chicken disaster and ending now with them killing Osama Bin Laden this has just been a whirlwind time.

The tornadoes that hit Gloucester and then Alabama/Georgia the following week consumed the news for days.  Horrible loss that brought a community together in an amazing way.  Loss of life and home was all you saw when you turned on the TV news. 

The school board trying to decide what to do about the school.  A new schedule with Timothy having to leave the house at 6 am.  The poor Page kids having to go to school till 6:30 pm. Next year moving the 8th graders to the High School. It could be 3 to 4 years till this is resolved.  Some parents are angry, some are scared about sending their young 8th graders to an already overcrowded environment. (that would be me).

Then the horrible news came.... a little girl found in a make shift cage in her home here in Gloucester.  5 or 6 years old they say no one is sure as there is no record of her birth. They say she looked to be around 2 years old and was malnourished and filthy. Kept in a dark room. There was also a baby in the home. He was in good condition. It is good that he was taken care of but makes the girls treatment all the more bizarre.  That was bad enough. It was a couple of days later that the next news came. They found another child's body buried at the house.

With all of this in the news plus regular life:

 Caitie is headed to Middle School in the fall. I am trying really hard to imagine that my baby is old enough to go to Middle School.  I am finding it a bit of a challenge. 

I am also the VBS director this year and that is starting to kinda loom over me. Add to that Relay for Life which is about to get crazy, our garden that I love but takes a lot of time and two kids birthdays in the next two weeks. I have baby chicks and now it looks like my eggs from the old chickens might hatch. Wow! Now if that isn't enough.... Dan is changing jobs and I quit mine. Okay good changes yes but still!  That means worrying about things like insurance changes, financial changes, and schedule changes.

Then yesterday it was announced that there had been a threat of a shooting at GHS today. Who announces that they are going to go to school and shoot someone the next day? They have increased security and I am praying for the kids at the High School today.

So as I sat out on my patio this morning having my coffee and my quiet time I realized why I am so close the edge. I don't know how you react to stress/overwhelm but my reaction is to shut down. I quit getting things done and read read read. I don't go to church, bible study, meetings, or lunch with friends. I don't clean house or do school work. I stop looking for the Joy and wallow in the Junk. Well I am working on an alternative strategy this time.  It is funny I tend to let myself get to this point without even realizing how I got here and then wonder why I am having a "bad" day.  So this time I am going to continue to write in my Thankfulness journal which I haven't written in for a few days. I am going to continue to look for the good in the insanity that is my life right now. I am not going to cocoon and stay home. I am going to push through and be productive.

Funny how God works. As I was finishing writing this and trying to decide how to follow through on this today when what I wanted to do was ... well nothing, I had a call from a friend. Could I come hold the baby while she goes to her doctor's appointment. Hmmm could I come and hold a brand new life that is more of a miracle than I can begin to tell you in this blog. She had might as well said "Could I give you the hope you need today?" instead of "Can you do me a favor?".  So off I go to hop in the shower and get dressed. This is going to be a good day!


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